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比尔·盖茨透露自己 的育儿方针 爱和逻辑
时间:2018-11-30



比尔·盖茨并不假装 自己过着平等的家庭生活。这位微软创始人、亿万富翁爽快地承认,在养育三个孩 子的过程中,妻子梅琳达承 担了更多责任。
Bill Gates doesn't pretend he lives in an egalitarian household. When it comes to parenting his three children, the billionaire Microsoft mogul readily admits his wife Melinda has done more than her share of the work raising the kids.

上周四,盖茨告诉一群 哈佛学生说:“我妻子做了80%的工作。”盖茨曾作为法 学预科生在哈佛大学上过两年课,学习数学和计 算机科学,但始终没有完 成自己的学业、取得学位(不过后来哈佛 大学授予了他荣誉学位)。
"My wife does 80%," Gates told a crowd of Harvard students last Thursday. Gates spent two years there taking math and computer science courses as a pre-law student, but never finished up his degree (though he was later gifted an honorary diploma from the Ivy League university).

盖茨开玩笑说:“今年六月,我的大女儿就 从斯坦福大学毕业了。所以我可以乐观地说,她不会步我的后尘。”
"My eldest graduates from Stanford in June, so I'm optimistic she won't fall into my footsteps," Gates joked.

盖茨夫妇育有 三个子女,目前分别为15岁、18岁和22岁。他们夫妇二人 对孩子的教育问题非常慎重。
Gates said he and his wife have been quite deliberate about the model they've used to raise their three children, who are now 15, 18, and 22 years old.

比尔·盖茨表示,他们遵循上世纪70年代的“爱和逻辑”教育模式。该模式由一位 心理学家、一位精神病学 家和一位曾任学校管理者的人合作创立。它的核心理念 是情绪控制,即最大程度地 减少情绪反应,如大喊大叫、训斥孩子。
He says the couple followed a 1970s "Love and Logic" parenting model. It's a formula that was created by a group of three men — a mix of psychologists, psychiatrists and former school administrators. The core idea of their philosophy is centered on the idea that exerting emotional control, essentially minimizing emotional reactions like shouting or reprimanding kids.

这种模式的联 合创立者查尔斯·费伊在他的博 客中写道:“应用爱和逻辑 教育法的最大益处之一是能帮助我们学习如何控制情绪和语言。”
"One of the greatest benefits of applying Love and Logic is that it helps us learn how to keep a tighter leash on our emotions and on our tongues," co-founder Charles Fay wrote in a blog post about his model.

盖茨承认,他和妻子在实 践这种教育法时做得并不完美。
Gates admits he and his wife haven't been perfect at carrying out the approach.

他说:“你可以抛却情绪吗?你无法完全做到。”
"Can you get rid of the emotion? You can't totally do it," he said.

除了控制父母 的激烈情绪外,爱和逻辑教育 模式还强调不要依赖物质奖励。相反,父母应该表达 无条件的爱,应该赞美孩子本身,而非他们的成 就或失败(例如考试分数)。
Aside from reining in hot-blooded parent tempers, the love and logic model also stresses the importance of not leaning into rewards for kids, but instead demonstrating unconditional love and admiring kids for who they are, not what they do (or don't) achieve, like a poor test score or a bad grade.

费伊在他的网 站上写道:“许多非常成功 的人小时候成绩并不好。最重要的是使 孩子具备良好的品格、好奇心和解决 问题的技巧。”
"Many highly successful people struggled with grades as children," Fay wrote on his site. "What's most important is that our children develop good character, curiosity, and problem-solving skills."

这有点像苏格 拉底式的教育方法。父母应该问孩子问题,引导孩子思考 如何自己解决问题,而非直接提供答案。
The model is a bit like the Socratic method, in that it pushes parents to focus on asking questions of their kids and getting them to think about how to solve their own problems, instead of feeding them answers.

盖茨表示,“爱和逻辑”教育法和他自 己的成长经历相距甚远,但他希望为自 己的孩子做点不一样的事情。
Gates says the "Love and Logic" method is a far cry from the way he grew up, but he knew he wanted to do things differently with his own kids.

这不是盖茨给 孩子们在成长过程中设定的唯一界限。盖茨的每一个 孩子都要年满十四岁才能拥有手机。孩子们要跟着 父母定期去天主教堂做礼拜。每个孩子将来 各继承大约一千万美元(合6360万元人民币)的财产--相较于盖茨高达大约900亿美元的净资产,这只是九牛一毛。
It wasn't the only way he set boundaries for his children while they were growing up. None of his kids owned a cell phone until they were 14 years old. The children also attended Catholic church regularly with their parents. And they will each get about $10 million of their parents fortune as inheritance, a mere fraction of the mogul's roughly $90 billion net worth.

盖茨曾在TED大会上说:“我们希望取得平衡,让孩子们能够 自由自在地做任何事情,而不是给予他 们大量金钱,让他们无所事事。”
"We want to strike a balance where they have the freedom to do anything, but not a lot of money showered on them so they could go out and do nothing," Gates once told TED.
 
本文来源:网络
整理和转载人:鲲鹏译-Jack
 
 

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